No regrets

A friend has just found out that her husband has a malignant brain tumour. It's devastating for the whole family. But, bravely, they have decided to make the most of the last 9 months of his life. Robert is going to concentrate on his favourite hobby, photography, for as long as he can. Josie has permission from work to travel less and spend more time at home with her husband. Their daughter is going to carry on with her planned gap year. They are going to make quite sure they pack every family happiness they can into the next few months.

One can only applaud them. It must be so difficult not to get caught up in anguish and frustration.

It made me think about what I really want from my life. When I get to that stage, and who knows when it might be – what do I NOT want to have said around my deathbed.

• She never had time for her children.
• She always wanted to go to XX but never got round to it.
• Her house was never clean.
• Her house was always spotless – she lavished loving care on the housework.
• She hardly ever had a smile on her face.
• She never really fulfilled her potential.
• She lived a quiet life and kept herself to herself.
• She always wanted to write but she never really “made it”

What would I like them to say? Or for me to be able to say?

• She brightened up the lives of those around her.
• She was loved.
• She had a lovely smile.
• She knew what was important to her.
• She was a friend as well as wife to her husband.
• She was a friend as well as mum to her children.
• She did great good for her community.
• Her writing touched those who read it even if it was never published world-wide.
• She left her mark on the world.
• She could share her enthusiasm and inspire others to achieve.

What would you like people to say about you? What would you like them NOT to say?

The challenge then is to be that person…